I realised recently that my daily routine has all but disappeared. You try having a routine with two kids, alright? While it’s nearly impossible, it’s incredibly essential for my mental health and I think my toddler and my baby both need it, too.
The words ‘daily routine’ get a bad rap. It might seem like I’m against spontaneity (I am) or somebody who needs a schedule to feel stable (I am).
I joke. Well, I half joke. I’m not against spontaneity in the sense that I’ll let my toddler pretty much control my every waking – and sleeping, let’s be honest – minute. Want to make cakes? I’m your gal. Playdough now? Sure thing, bud. Onto crafts? No problem. You want to get the padding pool out? Yes, Daddy would love to get it out.
But, when it comes to somebody texting me at 9am to see if I fancy doing something two hours later. Well, that sends me into all kinds of uncontrolled stress. I like to know what I’m doing the night before so I can mentally prepare my day.
I’m reassured by predictability
This might resonate with you. It might not. But, speaking to my friends, I know I’m not alone in this. Predictability reassurance is a thing. Sure, I made it up, but it stands up to scrutiny.
My toddler will ask to read the same book every day for a month. It’s Room On The Broom right now, if you’re interested. I’ve read it so many times that I genuinely asked my son if he’d like witch and chips for his tea.
At his young age, there’s something in his brain that makes repetition feel good. It feels secure, it’s a safety blanket. This never leaves us. In fact, MIT did a social experiment which found “90 per cent of what most people do in any day follows routines so complete that their behaviour can be predicted with just a few mathematical equations.”
My routine is all over the place
When I stick to a routine, there’s something in my brain that signals to my body this feels good. My brain will try everything in its power to stop me from doing said routine, but when I complete it, it’ll light up like a flipping candle.
Having recently had my second child, my routine has never felt more threatened. In fact, to put it mildly, it’s in complete disarray. I don’t know what’s going to happen from one day to the next and that is just not flying with my brain.
Look, I’m organised. If any of you were to see my Notion (an organisation app), you’d be afraid of me. And not in a ‘wow, this girl can do anything’ way. More in a ‘wow, this girl is clinically insane’ kind of way.
My life is mapped out in front of my eyes. I have a board called ‘Week At A Glance’ where I put everything in from my calendar and cross-reference it with my daily to do list. Each of my family members have a ‘to do’ list. I have a weekly menu which links to recipes of meals we’re having for every meal during the week.
I’ve got play ideas for the kids, books I’d like to read, clothes I’d like to buy, house tasks, TikTok video ideas. This is looked at and updated every single day.
And yet, my life feels like a wild ride right now.
Daily routines
So, how do you build daily routines into your life when your life is going through a truly chaotic chapter? Many people would say ‘just don’t’ but if you’re like me, you’ll know it’s not an option to feel so disorganised.
Life, for me, runs much more smoothly when I’m organised.
Notion has definitely helped. I’d really recommend downloading it. I don’t know what I’d do without it.
Aside from that, I try to keep the first two hours of the day, and the last two hours of the day before the kids go to sleep as fairly consistent times. If you’re feeling a bit disorganised, try to start with just one predictable hour of the day and build from there.
Cut yourself some slack
Isaac is half way between dropping his last nap and needing it. If he doesn’t have it, come 4pm is he wild. This chapter isn’t a long one and I need to remind myself of that.
Look at the phase of life you’re in and take note of what is taking your focus. Believe you’re doing the best you can and cut yourself a bit of slack. I am so hard on myself, so I know it can be difficult, but it’s worth doing.
If you’re struggling with this, can I recommend the reverse to do list. Write down everything you did in the day at the end of the day rather than everything you need to do. You’ll be (as I was) pleasantly surprised at what you’re achieving.
Recalibrating
When Isaac had a nap in the middle of the day, I had a structure in place. I knew that he’d have a nap at 12-2. I knew I could reset my life and the house in that time.
Now that’s gone and Otis is here, we’re having to recalibrate.
Soon, Otis will be napping like Isaac used to and Isaac will continue to play more independently. Like everything in life, these moments are cyclical, so if everything feels a little chaotic right now, see it as a chance to recalibrate.
You’ll get there, as will I…
Not sure where to start? Here are the little things I do/use to make my life easier.
What do you think?
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